Too Spoopy

Too Spoopy


  • Tag Archives Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark
  • Mama: Guillermo Del Toro Presents another disappointment


    I guarantee My girlfriend had a better review of the film than I’m about to write.
    When we finished the film, a few minutes after, she said the following.

    “It was good, until it wasn’t.”

    What starts as an atmospheric film about a paranormal entity and its impact upon abandoned children in the woods, quickly travels to what I like to call, “Sappy Town.” It suffers from the same ending all Guillermo Del Toro presents films seem to. This being the cheesy, “and the children lived happily ever after, so there’s that” finale. I’ll put up with it when it’s a Guillermo Del Toro film, but when you sit through a stinker like Mama, you start to think it’s lame.

    What’s most disappointing about Mama, is, much like Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, it had a lot of potential. Much like DBAOTD, it had great visual effects. Though, in Mama, the CG is used a little too much: you don’t need to CG a kid hustling around on all fours. Get a stunt kid for that shit. Similar to DBAOTD, the source material was great. In Mama’s case, it was an unnerving Spanish language short.

    Game of Thrones star Nikolaj Coster-Waldau proves he can act outside of the show (unlike Kit Herrington, AKA Jon Snow, AKA I can’t even fake caring about being in Silent Hill 2 like Sean Bean is). And yet, he gets knocked out, and spends most of his time outside of the picture. We are left with a Brody Dalle from The Distillers lookalike.

    brody dalle


    Chastain and whatever the actresses, actors names of the children were, can’t carry the film.

    Hate to say it, but I think Guillermo might need to stop presenting so much. Or, at the very least, maybe he should present only Spanish language films? Fool me once, shame on you, but fool me twice, and all that jazz.

  • Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark…No, Seriously, Don’t Be, It is Hysterical

    I was quite dissapointed with Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark. Being co-written by Guillermo Del Toro, I had high hopes for the film, hopes that never saw the light. Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, directed by Troy Nixey, fell quite fucking flat. During the portions of the film where it isn’t completely mundane, it is downright funny. Guy Pearce and Katie Holmes have incredibly phoned in performances, and the child actress, Bailee Madison, easily gives the best performance in the film. To be fair, most of the story is told through her eyes, but it’s sad when the child out acts the adults.
    The best part of this film is the set design, and the creature design. Yet, the way the creatures are shown, quickly removes any apprehension we might feel for the little beasties, that are only a few inches high. I mean, there are some creepy shots of them scurrying, but once you see them up close, forget about it, it’s giggle central.
    After a promising intro with a character named Blackwood, in his huge Manor in the 19th century, the film gets slow. Cut to present day, and Sally(Bailee Madison) moves into Blackwood Manor, with her father Alex (Guy Pearce) and his new girlfriend Kim (Katie Holmes). Alex and Kim are restoring Blackwood Manor for the historical society, and for the acclaim; to be top…house redecorators? We learn about little beasties, trapped in the basement, that eat children. We hear whispers, and there is a build up of tension. And then the beasties show up, and it just gets hysterical.
    Save yourself some money, and wait for this one on dvd, if you bother to watch it at all.