To say that I’m a fan of the show The X-Files is a vast understatement. I had no life when I was younger, and was downright obsessive with the program. It was briefly on Fridays, though I only caught some of those. When the show moved to Sunday nights, I tuned in religiously.
Didn’t stop tuning in every Sunday, until Duchovny left.
This is actually a harder list to compile than you’d think. For one, to be extensive, I went through a list of every single episode from all 9 seasons, which had descriptions of the episodes. This was difficult, in and of itself. I’m a fan, but I had to have a refresher, and I don’t have the time to just sit down and watch all of them at once.
To help cut this article down to a manageable length, I’ll only be talking about episodes from seasons 1 through 4. Rarely is there an episode with simply a killer, without some other kind of paranormal stuff going on as well. So, I excluded what I consider to be monsters, though a giant killer flukeworm or a werewolf could technically be classified as a serial killer as well.
Here’s my first list. It’s in chronological order, not order of ranking. Enjoy.
Season 1 Episode 3-Squeeze
The episode that introduces us to the infamous Tooms. It takes place in Maryland, and revolves around Tooms, who has the ability to squeeze into tight spaces. He can break into buildings or houses, and kill his victims. He wants to eat their livers. When he eats five human livers he gets a prize! No, kidding, it allows him to hibernate for a hell of a long time. Some of you are wondering how this doesn’t make Tooms a monster. He looks human, he’s just really stretchy, so that’s how I’m getting around this.
It was the first Monster of the Week episode that doesn’t relate to the mythology of the show. It’s creepy. It got under my skin, so to speak.
Season 1 Episode 13-Beyond the Sea
This one takes place in North Carolina, and stars Brad Douriff of Chucky fame. Douriff plays Luther Lee Boggs, who is, you guessed it, a serial killer.
He’s in prison on death row, and is psychic. He helps Mulder and Scully find the victims of a kidnapping. Douriff is amazing in this. He’s quite the creeper. And the scene where he finally takes his walk to be executed, and their are ghosts all over the place; dude, that’s messed up.
Season 1 Episode 16-Young at Heart
John Barnett was the first case Mulder had with the FBI, and before he could shoot Barnett the man killed the hostages he took. Oh, and Barnett, who supposedly died in prison, is not dead, due to some kind of genetic modification where his cells are mixed with that of a salamander’s. It’s a good episode, if only because we get to see Mulder when he first joined the FBI, when he wasn’t stuck in the basement.
Season 1 Episode 21-Tooms
Everyone’s favorite stretch armstrong is back, to eat your fucking liver!
Season 2 Episode 12-Aubrey
Takes place in Aubrey, Missouri, with a detective named BJ Morrow, who is preggo with Lt. Brian Tillman’s (played by that bald guy from Lost) chitlin. Oh, and she finds a body, from a dream. The killer is a man named Cokely, and he has a penchant for carving sister, or brother, into people’s chests. What a guy. Won’t tell you anymore, so as not to spoil it.
Season 2 Episode 13-Irresistible
This one is borderline, as the death fetishist may or may not be a demon. But, he is certainly a serial killer, and they keep it vague. What a creep.
Season 3 Episode 3-D.P.O.
Again, this one is on the fence, since Darren Peter Oswald, aka D.P.O.(played by Giovanni Rebisi) kills people with lightning. But, he still kills people, so I’m including it, damnit! KRAKOW!
Season3 Episode 4-Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose
The late great Peter Boyle stars as Clive Bruckman, a man who can see things, like a killer that targets fortune tellers. Funny, and intense. One of my favorite episodes in general.
Season 3 Episode 6-2Shy
In Cleveland, Ohio, a man is using the internet to lure unsuspecting overweight women into his grasp, to off them. He’s a chubby chaser.
Season 3 Episode 13-Syzygy
High Schoolers murdered, and two girls are connected somehow. I love this episode. Love me some evil ladies.
Season 3 Episode 17-Pusher
Pusher, or Robert Patrick Modell, is a serial killer who can make people do whatever he says. This episode is packed with more intense Mulder shouting action.
Season 4 Episode 4-Unruhe
In Michigan, Gerry Shnauz is a creep who can project his thoughts onto photographs and thinks everyone should have an icepick shoved through their eyes to help “save” them.
You have to love the eye twitch Pruit Taylor Vince was able to do. Talk about unnerving.
Season 4 Episode 10-Paper Hearts
Finally, some answers about Samantha. Or not? Whatever, it’s still good! Child killers are just much more disturbing.
Season 4 Episode 19-Synchrony
A man from the future freezes people to death. Alright.
There’s the first half of my list. Until next time, remember the Truth is Out There, but you should Trust No One.