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Random-Ass Interview 2: Adam Barnick

Adam Barnick has been directing music videos lately. His video for the Rivulets, “How, Who”, is horror-based and got Video of the Week pick from FearNet, as well as Bloody-Disgusting. He’s also directed a couple of featurettes for Adam Green’s movies. For the dvds, and such. He came back. Time to get weird on him.

Where the Hell is What is Scary?

“What is Scary?” got put on hold for a while due to several factors. One of which involved a head injury I think that happened right around the interview I last did with you. That injury was a little more serious than I let on, and it really did a number on me. I’d stopped all work on that project and then, after recovering, got caught up in several other projects, three of which are these recent music videos. And some writing work. But I’d always intended to resume post and figuring out its final ‘shape’ and direction it would be going in, this year. So I will be actively involved in postproduction and getting the last elements of what I need, this Summer. I’m aiming for just a few more heavy hitters in the callers list, too. Can’t fathom a release date or festival, etc. yet. But I should have some updates later this year for you.

If dogs could talk, do you think we’d still like them as much? I don’t think we would.

I think loyal, sane dogs we wouldn’t mind so much. You know, if they were feeling sick they could tell us where it hurts, etc. I think neurotic dogs would lower the likeability factor though. Ever hear a dog freak out because its owner went to work? Now picture that in English, for six hours.

Favorite film from the 80s with a lady who has to pretend to be a dude?

Just One of the Guys. Now and Forever. <3
When you get a film career going, can you give me a job?
Ha, I’m kidding…no, but seriously, I could use it.
Ha, kidding again…no, I’m not.

Sure! Wait, no.

It has to be for money though. Nothing, “for the love.”

What if it’s a Passion Project? You need to see this video online called “Shit Craigslist Producers Say.” It’s amazing.
Do you have a pithy response to anyone who wants you to do a project, “for the love”?
I’m thinking mine will be, “get back to me when it’s for the money.”
I have no standard response, usually because I end conversations like that cordially but quickly. Not that I haven’t cut rates for things I’m passionate about or good people. But you can’t pay the electric bill with love. I’ve tried. They don’t play that. So that might be my response. “You can’t pay the electric bill with love.” Shit, that’s a Motown song in the making.

If a Freak Friday scenario occurred between you and Adam West…what would you even do? I’ve wondered what would happen if one occurred between me and Big Sean. I imagine he’d blow his…or rather my…brains out.
I’d be fine in his body. Although his rapping would get decidedly weirder, and more focused on extreme horror and talking animal films.
To reiterate, If a Freak Friday scenario occurred between you and Adam West, what would you do?

Adam West raps? I know I’d clean up every cent of my debt with convention appearances in just a week or two.

Is there still horror themed stuff for kids? I hope there is. I remember Are You Afraid of the Dark, and Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Those were pivotal in making me into the guy that says inappropriately morbid things at sunny barbecues.

I don’t know! I need to ask my good friend’s kids, who love horror. Though they (to a degree) groove on some of the stuff we grownups enjoy, like Walking Dead. Not sure. Kids grow up faster these days in terms of media literacy. Though things like Grimm’s Fairy Tales (real ones, not the sanitized ones) are a good primer for scary smart narratives. Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark remains brilliant, but I want to pimp-slap whoever reissued those books with “easier” drawings that aren’t scary. I opened one of those books when I was ten and nearly dropped it, the artwork scared me so much. The ‘nanny state’ culture needs to die in a fire before we’re all easily defeated wimps.

Allright, since you made it to weird-ass interview 2, got to pump up the weird (and or find a way to throw in pictures of celebrities to try and bump up my traffic). So, here we go.
Does life begin at conception? No, kidding (please don’t answer that, I don’t want a political blarg).

Life begins at 30. I’m pretty sure. Mine got better then! 30 is the new 20, right? I’m not sure. But in the film industry, 35 seems to be the new 14.

What if life began at Inception? So, if you had a wet dream, you’d wake up, and a kid would be there whose mom was some celebrity you find attractive.
Like SCARLETT JOHANSSON!

What scene was that in? I’m still trying to figure out if Leonardo’s top falls over when it’s done spinning.

If your butthole is sore, from say, rough toilet paper at work, do you think you could exaggerate the injury, and try to sue? I’m asking, uh, for a friend…

If you’re roughing it with the one-ply, your boss better hope there’s a good lawyer in the family- god’s mercy on you.

If a pie grew sentience and had to figure out how to make it in the real world, with just his best friend, a sassy black woman, could you call the pilot episode Solving for Pie? Also, who is a Monique type actress that isn’t Monique because she costs too much?

I’m completely confused so I’m gonna take a time out and walk around the block.

Is Adam Green really green, like the rumor I just started about him just now right here says?

I’m color blind, so he’s Grey to me; I’m not the best man to ask. But he remains an awesome guy; I just saw him at the Hatchet marathon last week in Boston and he, and the films, were a blast.

I updated my header.
Oh, right, question.
Ummmmmmm.
Do you like zucchini?

Does anyone? Not particularly, but I wouldn’t turn it down. if it’s that or starvation, I’ll make do.

If Girls Just Want to Have Fun why do so many of them have jobs? Maybe they’re fun jobs? I think Cyndi Lauper might have been making a gross overgeneralization.

What age do girls start working these days? If they’re 80’s girls, their slacker time has gone on long enough. OR, if you’re paying attention, doesn’t it mean they want to have fun because perhaps they’re not, due to conditions at their place of employment?
This is gonna circle back around to filmmaking soon, right?

Suuuuuure.

If Stephen King for some reason joined a monarchy and became an actual king, do you think he would pass a law to make everyone wear chambray at least one day a year?

Ha! No, he’s the King, I think he’d execute anyone else he found wearing it.

Have you ever read any Dean Koontz? I’m kind of a jerk, I never have. And yet I’ve read two novels from Richard Layman.
Two or three novels, which I liked, but he never really resonated with me like people like King and Clive Barker did.

I like my coffee like a like my women; ground up, and brewed in hot water, so I can get a buzz of off them.
My other favorite version of that joke is…I like my coffee like I like my women: slutty.
How do you like your coffee, and does it relate to how you like your women?

I like my coffee flavorful and strong, and from the Northwest/Canada. So, yes.

Can you go direct a movie so I can become your PA already?! Honestly, less than minimum wage…

I’m working on it! You’d better be ready to WORK though. Those call sheets aren’t gonna hand themselves out…

I mean, do you have any plans to go forward with What Is Scary? or any other film, in the near future?

See above. And yes there are more cool projects brewing, but I’m not going to make announcements until they’re true-blue happening or completed, vs. they might happen. Don’t want to jinx things or wildly hype something that’s not definite. But good, busy times are coming.

Shouldn’t rubberneckers just be called hey asshole, stop reading my shit, douchebags?

That may take too long to spout out pre-accident. But let me know how it works out for you!

Thanks for coming back. All five of my readers are sure to appreciate it.

My parents and the other 3 readers will be quite happy!


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