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American Horror Story: Nor’easter and a Storm of Monsters

They did the Monster Mash. This one has it all. Well, not aliens, but it has…

SPOILER ALERT, WARNING SPOILER ALERT, YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS TO STOP READING OR ELSE ALL SHALL BE SPOILED.

Ehem.
Weird creatures in the woods, possessed nun, Sister Mary (Lily Rabe) gets “all juicy” and tries to bang Dr. Arden (James Cromwell). Present day has multiple bloody faces, who shoot the two who snuck into the asylum, both pretenders to the throne, and the real deal Bloody Face ghost or whatever shows up.

A possessed Sis Mary plays Sister Jude and Dr. Arden against each other.

We get a successful escape, except once the three who escape, the reporter (Sarah Paulson) the reputed Bloody Face (Evan Peters) and the…French lady (Lizzie Brocher√©) find out their are weird…burn victim cannibals in the woods, they run back to the relative safety of the asylum.

Sister Jude gets drunk for the first time in years, stricken with guilt over hitting a small child, which consequently is why she became a nun. She gives a very uncomfortable spoken word rendition of the song “You’ll Never Walk Alone.” Funny side note, the girl Sister Jude hit was, according to a newspaper article she finds, in Framingham, MA, and guess what town I lived in until the second grade?

That’s right…I was that little girl.

Oh, and the slutty patient (Chlo√ę Sevigny) gives a hummer, gets captured by Dr. Arden, and gets her legs cut off.
See, wasn’t that obnoxious. I just told you the whole episode.
It was much easier, as I didn’t have to actually state my opinion at any time.

That’s why I don’t like giving away plot details. Where is the fun in telling you exactly what happened?

In any case, it was an excellent episode, and it really ramped up the crazy. It matches the breakneck pacing of the previous two episodes, and has just as much sex and violence. And it’s an insane asylum during a bad storm. Classic horror movie atmosphere. Really, American Horror Story has always seemed to pay homage to the horror films that have come before it, and it’s cute.

I for one am anxious for some more alien probing action, and to finally see the little guys again.
And yes, I realize in hindsight, I should probably have spoiler alerted the last two reviews, but I got ants in the pants.


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