Too Spoopy

Too Spoopy


  • The ADD Horror Fan: Release of My First Novel

    Like the shambling undead this series will now be unearthed, to coincide with the release of my first novel. So, understand, writing a novel for someone with ADD is basically akin to climbing a fucking mountain without shoes. I’ve tested out my attention span: for reading, I lose steam 5 to 6 minutes in, and for shows or films, probably every 20 minutes I get bored, give or take. So the no doubt hundreds of hours I spent working on this novel is no small feat, especially when you consider every 15 minutes or so I’d lose steam. And since these do better with pictures, below is a sexy zombie!

    Okay, you idiots still here? Cool. So what the fuck was I- YES, I PUT OUT MY FIRST BOOK, well, am in the process of putting it out. Kindle link below suckahs.

    TH3 D3M0N for Kindle

    So right (it’s called ADD horror fan for a reason) finished a book about demonic possession spread via computer virus. My mom gave my the idea several years back when she told me about this one for the iphone that was going around, and whether it was or wasn’t called this, she said it was known as “The Demon.” Rest is history.

    TH3 D3M0N is book 1 of 3 in The Fires Rise series (working title that will probably stick.) I’m going to refrain from comparing myself to other writers for a change, but it’s the novel is almost certainly inspired by Clive Barker and Stephen King, as well as Jack Ketchum, Laird Barron, Matthew M. Bartlett, and Thomas Ligotti. Yes, I just did a terrible job refraining from mentioning other writers, fucking sue me.

    I’m going to have a separate posts on influences for the book later, but since the point of this article series is to be stream of consciousness, let me tell you what I’m feeling and thinking. Well I’m eating peanut butter cups, and I could lie and say I’m scared, but I’m not. Putting a book out gets progressively less scary. I’m more scared it won’t go anywhere, but hey, I have another job, so whatever. I’m hoping people like the book, sincerely. I think it has merit to it, and I think the scale of it more than anything is where people will be dragged in, and will hopefully bring them back for book 2 in The Fires Rise series (whenever the fuck I get around to doing that).

    We live in a fun age, with a lot of technological and psychosocial advancements, with things like social media and Youtube. But you have to wonder if this new landscape is screwing with people (spoiler alert, it is, I just am too lazy to google research studies). But hey, it allows me to send this post to you without the need of the post office, so hooray.

    Might write a list of gothic horror films later. Not sure. Keepin’ it loosy goosy.
    And I’m out.

  • Acknowledgements for TH3 D3M0N

    My book (actually books, TOO LATE didn’t have one either, neither did HATE FROM THE SKY) have yet to have an acknowledgements page. Understand, this is less to do with me not thinking others played a great part in my work, and more to do with a terrible memory getting worse by the day.

    But in that spirit, I’d like to, first and foremost, thank Brian O’Connell for believing in my work enough to host it on his site THE CONQUEROR WEIRD. The finished manuscript has been fleshed out, and differs in some ways from its original serialized version, but the spirit is the same, and Brian’s enthusiasm was, and continues to be infectious. So many of us as we age grow bitter and let the spark die, so it’s nice to have a teenager to give me pure unhindered hyperactive joy. Thanks buddy. (Let’s get that novella off the ground soonish, ay?)

    Emily Chew, the love of my life, I’d like to thank her for not murdering me yet. I am not easy to live with, and am harder still to be around when I’m working on a longer project. She joked today I’m a basement dwelling cryptid, which really isn’t that far off, haha. Love you Emily.

    Now many authors inspired TH3 D3M0N, but I keep coming back to Matthew M. Bartlett. For the last few years, he has been ever supportive, and much the same way Emily puts up with my pure unadulterated neurosis, so too has this wonderfully patient, and incredibly talented man. His encouragement has gone a very long way, as well as the help of other great writers like Farah Rose Smith, Gwendolyn Kiste, Tom Breen, Jonathan Raab, John Claude Smith, Alex Smith, and there’s a ton I’m forgetting, and this is exactly why I haven’t done an acknowledgements page yet! I’m sorry if i forgot you!

    Thank you all, and if you’re screen starts strobing red, run like Hell!

  • Random-Ass Interview: Autumn Christian

    Do you think we’ll ever reach the singularity?

    Duh. Where have you been?

    Favorite swear?

    Fuck. The word that powers the universe is Fuck. It is the perfect word – it is noun, verb, adjective, and adverb. The fucking fuck fucks fucks is a gramatically correct sentence. It touches the tip of the tongue like the power word of the gods reverberating through the whole mouth sending fissions down the throat and earthquakes made out of nerves down into the spine and stomach. It is the word for every occasion, event, and mood. It can be sexy. It can be angry and vulgar. It can be used both to celebrate, and to express displeasure. It can be used casually. It can be used to make people jolt out of their daydreams and pay attention. It is a word that is both shapeshifter, and indelible. It will leave its mark like a thumbprint inside your brain.

    If your dog’s could talk, what do you think they’d say?

    “For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can’t readily accept the God formula, the big answers don’t remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command nor faith a dictum. I am my own god. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.”

    Who do you think would win in a fight, Bukowski or Poe?

    It depends on what age they’re fighting each other at. What most people don’t know about Poe is that he was quite the athlete in his youth – he swam 7 miles upstream of the James River when he was a teenager. Only later did he begin to suffer poor health from drinking and possibly diabetes or head trauma. Bukowski was a mean son of a bitch but I mean if I had to put money on it I’d have to go with Poe just because that lithograph of him with the wry smile looks like he’s probably killed a motherfucker before.

    Last cereal you ate?

    This is an unacceptable question and cereal is unacceptable.
Acceptable breakfast foods: breakfast tacos, breakfast bagels, fried eggs, hash browns, scrambled eggs on avocado toast, cinnamon buns, leftover birthday cake, beer, kratom tea, coffee and an omega 3 pill, jelly-filled doughnuts, a ham sandwich.

    You’re working on a novel right?


    You ever seen that video of the like floating pants cryptid?

Are you talking about the Fresno alien? I just typed it into google. Now I’ve seen the video. It just looks like someone walking around while wearing pants.

    On average, how many Red Bull do you drink a day?

    I’m down to one or two Red bulls a day. I didn’t start drinking Red Bull until I met up with Robert (my current boyfriend) in Austin and we drank Red Bull in his car one night while talking about Bigfoot. When I went back home in Seattle I drank Red Bull just because the taste reminded me of him and I’m a hopeless romantic. Then a month or so later we were reunited and every time I drink Red Bull I’m reminded of how much I love him. So really what I’m trying to say is that Red Bull taught me about the love between a man and a woman.

    What’s the longest you’ve ever played a game, as in hours logged?

    Around 19 hours I think, but I rarely log that much anymore. Yes I’m a filthy casual, I know people who have stayed up playing for days. In an attempt to be health conscientious the game I was playing, Lineage 2, decided to post an update every hour that you were logged in and reminded you that you should probably take a break because you’ve been playing X amount of hours. Most of the people I played with just laughed at this warning message and took it as a point of pride to keep score for how long they’d been playing.

    Do you think loggers have a lot of shitty jokes about wood?

    It’s possible, but I imagine most loggers want to distract themselves from their day jobs when they’re out having fun.

    Where does love go when it dies?

    Okay, it’d take me a book to explain this but let me try to condense it down into a paragraph: Love isn’t just an emotion. It’s the byproduct of what powers a universe that seems to have a propensity toward creation. When we love it’s because in us is an appreciation of what powers the universe and what exists around and inside of us. Love cannot die – it can only change shape and form and when we no longer feel love it doesn’t mean the love no longer exists.

    You like cartoons?

    No. I only watch live-action movies about serious things.

    Three wolf moon is in the running for best t-shirt, in my humble opinion. Do you think there are better t-shirts?

I actually own a three wolf moon t-shirt and it glows in the dark. If there are better t-shirts I haven’t seen them – the three wolf moon conveys a primal power and raw courage that is rarely seen in lesser t-shirts. The three wolf moon wearer is instantly marked as an alpha by their peers. The brazenness required to wear a three wolf moon t-shirt

    Is Autumn Christian your real name? If you were to use a pseudonym, what type of name you think you’d use?

    FOR THE LAST TIME AUTUMN CHRISTIAN IS MY REAL NAME. It’s on my birth certificate and everything.

    I’ve used a pseudonym before when I was writing SEO stuff. I went by something like April Lee because I thought it sounded bland and immediately forgettable. Another contender is Winter Heathen.

    If I was a robot, would you really know?

    I try not to pry into people’s personal lives.

    You ever drank a 40?

    No, why would you even ask that question? Do I have the demeanor of someone who would willfully let a 40 touch my lips, with its awkwardly large size? I only drink beer that has been made by blind monks and poured over a playboy model’s gracefully aging nude body and blessed by a forked-tongue gnostic Christian. And no IPAs.

    I mean, obviously. Of course I’ve drank a 40 before.

    Favorite paint color?

    It’s a toss up between Gray Owl, Clouded Vision Gray, Cape Cod Gray, Whispering Waterfall Gray, Granite Gray, Drizzling Mist Gray, Plumett Gray, and Web Gray.

    Khakis or jeans?

    Jeans because they have a long history of being the clothing of the working class. Khakis were first worn by the British military. It seems like the choice is obvious here. But if I’m being honest I usually wear jeggings (A cross between jeans and a legging) because I want my pants to be as skin tight as possible so I can show off my ass. My physical therapist the other day told me I had strong glute muscles so you know, I’m pretty sure he was hitting on me.

    Thanks for taking part. Got any plugs?

    I think you’d really enjoy this claymation horror short:

    I also have books and a website:

    Autumn Christian Site

    Autumn Christian Amazon

  • Too Late: Notes on The End of Humanity

    One of my favorite stories. All credit where it is due, the concept was taken from the Clive Barker novel “Mister B. Gone.” I’ve always liked breaking the fourth wall, and the concept of audience participation in all forms of media, but I especially love it in prose form.

    There’s a nod to the Stephen King novel “The Dark Half,” in it, when there’s a bunch of sparrows on top of the house at the end. I’ve always liked tons of birds or bats flying around, seems terribly evocative for a horror story.

    I enjoy meta fiction. This would be classified as such, i.e. a horror writer ends up in a horror story. Again, that’s a King thing.

    I guess films like “The Exorcist” obviously influenced me, as well as stuff like “Rosemary’s Baby,” and “The Omen.” I’m blanking on anything else recently. I’l update this if I remember any.

    What I tried to do with a lot of the stories in “Too Late,” was to have a monologue of sorts. I picture the character starting out alone in a setting: a prison, an old house, a table in an apartment, setting isn’t as important as the character. I wanted to have people telling you about things that went wrong in their life that they can’t change.
    I know it’s not en vogue lately to have pretty standard horror stories that work as character studies, but I don’t really give a shit about trends. These were stories I wrote over the course of a ten year period. I wrote many more, but I never seemed to like all of them all that much. And i think it’s because my favorite stories are the type that I grew up with. Granted, my newer work is a lot more experimental and tries to differentiate itself a bit more. But the types of stories in “Too Late,” are my foundation, and I hope that years down the line people will still give the chapbook a read, and realize that I started writing simple horror stories.

    I look forward to seeing where the future takes me with my fiction, and I hope that you’ll join me. Thanks.

  • Too Late: Notes on Dust

    I’m a huge fan of westerns, despite my lack of familiarity with the genre. Haven’t read a ton of them, though. I’m a Dark Tower dork, and The Gunslinger is probably my favorite thing Stephen King has ever written, so there’s a heavy dose of that in there.

    In terms of films, stuff like The Proposition, and The Assassination of Jesse James by The Coward Robert Ford, The Quick and The Dead, and Unforgiven come to mind. Just the aesthetic, the color scheme, it’s evocative.


    Comics: The Dark Tower comic.

    Show influences are stuff like Tales From The Crypt, can’t think of any specific episodes though.

    Hank Williams III had a healthy influences on me with this story too. Particularly this song.

    Westerns, man.I like them… the way you can have these morality plays with gunfights and settlers all at the same time. It was a natural thing to incorporate some kind of supernatural element in there.

  • Too Late: Notes on Jumpin’ Jack

    This one, jeez. Sometimes you write stuff, and don’t really remember what prompts it. With this one, I’d written a story set in Whispering Pines (the haunted woods in my fictional universe, in central Massachusetts) already for the Reddit board No Sleep. I’d written one about aliens which had done well, and this one later, which barely anyone read.

    To begin with, it’s an old black guy. I wanted to write as an old black guy. So I did. That’s probably the King influence again. I’ve always had an affinity for stories about old guys recounting sketchy things from their younger days.

    Recently, I reread Ligotti’s “The Frolic,” and while the only similarity is a child killer, I feel that “Jumpin’ Jack” shares a similar tone, and feel, though it’s less cosmic horror, and more folk horror.

    There is an episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention, “The Tale of Watcher’s Woods.” Had an impact on me as a child, and helped get the mythology of Whispering Pines going. Probably some Blair Witch in there, too.

    The Tale of Watcher’s Woods

    Watcher's Woods

  • Too Late: Notes on Stranded in the Storm

    There’s this one road that leads from Sudbury (where I grew up) into Lincoln, and much like the road in the story, it is serpentine, and hazardous. One time I got a flat around there, and had to change the tire off to the side of the road. It’s right across the street from a few trails leading up a hill, so it’s quite woodsy. This was the genesis of the idea, I’d driven on this road and skidded out a bit, and it had scared the shit out of me. So, just add a supernatural creature, a snow storm, and there you go.

    I was inspired by the film Ginger Snaps, as I enjoy writing about menstruation as it relates to the werewolf mythology.


    A lot of the language, of predator chasing prey, was recently inspired by the works of Laird Barron, but in honesty, I wrote the story back around 2010 or 2011, before I’d read any of Barron’s work. So, most likely, I can trace it to Stephen King, and stories like “One For the Road.”

    I’m sure this story would drive Stephen Graham Jones nuts, because he expressed on this episode of Miskatonic Musings how much he hates supernatural werewolves.

    Bigfoot’s Love Slave

    I like them, though. I like the idea that maybe it’s like they turn into a hell beast or something, some sort of possession that makes very little biological sense.

    I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that one story from John Langan in “The Wide Carnivorous Sky,” “The Revel.” I think it’s one of the best werewolf stories ever written. But, yet again, I read the story after I had written “Stranded in the Storm.”

    The funny thing about ruminating on where your ideas come from, is they come from so many places sometimes, and you write one of these, and then you’re driving and you go “oh, damn, I was inspired by (insert story name) too! i should have added that!”

    One of the fun things about most of the stories in “Too Late” is I can see myself expanding any one of them into a longer work, jumping off from where the story ends. And this story especially, and a certain character at the end, might get her own novel someday. Who knows?