The Purge, written and directed by James DeMonaco, is a home invasion film with lots of potential, that squanders it all. Despite decent performances by Lena Headey and Ethan Hawke, this film just doesn’t have the balls to embrace the universe, and the premise, it has created.
Charlie Morgan writes books, stories, greeting cards, (made that up) songs for weddings, (made up) and jingles for commercials (also made up). You can buy his work at http://www.ebooknightmare.blogspot.com and check out his facebook, http://www.facebook.com/scarecrow1356
Have you ever written something, and decided it was too much? Because I never have.
Is that a thing?
There’s such a thing as too much in this business? No I haven’t. Not yet anyway. Horror is about pushing the limits of what people are comfortable with. By definition it is the element of unease and you can’t get that if you pull back. That’s why I don’t understand why so many movies, or even books, are cut. It limits the original visions and cheats the audience out of the full experience. When you go on a rollercoaster they don’t slow it down or take out a loop if you scream too loud. For the most part the audience knows that they’re in for something scary as all Hell and that’s what they should be given. And if you can squeeze in something that really shocks them, they have gotten their money’s worth.
Oh and I did actually create one greeting eCard for Halloween this year.
You seen a Bigfoot yet?
No. I did manage to get a recording of something pretty spooky a while back. It was at Lake Summit which is very close to where I live. On the south side of the lake, myself and two others heard this very loud screaming coming from the woods. One person pulled out their cell phone and recorded some of it. You can’t see anything and the audio is okay but still doesn’t do justice to just how loud it really was. I’ve sent the recording to a few experts and one very big name in the field of cryptozoology (the study of animals that are unrecognized by science such as bigfoot, Jersey Devil, etc), none of them have been able to tell me what was on the recording. We went back a couple of days later and something was thrown from the woods to where I was standing in the road. I know it wasn’t just a loose stick falling from a tree. It had force behind it.
Any other crazy in the woods stories for us?
Always. There will be two more installments in the Sticks and Stones series. I’m hoping part two will be ready to go before Halloween.
Craziest thing you’ve seen as a firefighter, if you’re comfortable saying? If not, craziest thing you’ve seen on youtube most recently?
I’ve been a fireman for ten years and there’s always something wild going on. Some of them we legally can’t talk about because we have mostly medical calls and there are laws in place that prevent us from talking about them. There was one that I think I’ll be okay with. I don’t remember their names or where it was so I don’t think I will be stepping in a big, smelly pile of red tape. The one that will ALWAYS stand out is a domestic dispute call we had. I will NEVER forget the way it came over my radio.
“Central to Green River. Have a domestic dispute at (blah blah blah). The wife is CHASING the husband through the yard with A RUNNING CHAINSAW!”
When we got there, it was pretty much how it sounded. If memory serves me correct nobody was hurt and it turned out to be pretty damn funny. I know that probably sounds really bad but you had to be there.
Anybody you’d like to tell to jump off a bridge? I’d like to tell a lot of people, but I wait, until a fun day when I have a larger audience.
There’s plenty. I would not tell them to jump off though. I wouldn’t be that rude about it. I would do the courteous thing and help them off the bridge. If needed I could always get a chainsaw on loan. I know where one is at that’s not being used at the moment. We’re a very neighborly around here.
Being a ginger, do you think gingers have an easier time for absolutely no reason writing horror, because some dumb people think red hair is a sign you are related to Satan?
I’ve dated redheads before and I will say they do have a certain fire to them. I’ve been accused of being related to Satan due to the fact that I write horror, I love horror, I listen to the “Devil’s Music” while I write horror, have spooky tattoos, etc. As far as this being geared specifically toward gingers? Perhaps that’s one of the great mysteries in life we will never know the truth to. On a completely unrelated note, are you still coming to the Black Mass this Sunday? Uncle Leviathan wants a headcount.
Worst show you’ve ever watched?
I do feel kinda bad saying this seeing as how a few of the stars recently died in an accident. Don’t hold it against me. I was watching a show called “Buck Wild” with my cousin. She had wanted to see it and I sat through some of it. I just felt that it promoted a lot of negative stereotypes about people who were born and raised in the south.
Zombies, how do they work? I read a comic with Mr. T in it that says they don’t.
I fully believe that if a zombie apocalypse did happen, the late, great Z.A. Recht got it right. Its a mixture of fast and slow zombies in a way that works. The initially infected are still alive and have all of their motor skills untouched. Once killed, the body is still effected by the virus and comes back as a slowed down version. The fresher you are, the better you move. I highly recommend his Morningstar Trilogy. Talented work.
Any pets?
Oh, yes. I have two dogs, three cats, chickens and the visiting local wildlife such as foxes, raccoons, coyotes, bear, deer, whatever the hell that was at the lake, etc. I live on a farm.
Favorite schlocky 80s horror film?
All of them! I fully believe the best movies ever made came from the 1970s and 1980s. Even the bad movies had merit and the ability to create a cult following. Today a bad movie just sucks and is much easier to forget. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve went searching for the bad movies, found them and was overjoyed. (If anyone knows where I can find a copy of H.P. Lovecraft’s The Unnamable – 1988, let me know. Been looking for it a long time on DVD. Also Rawhead Rex.)
How many years of food do you think David Moody has stockpiled?
David Moody is the British incarnation of Chuck Norris. David Moody is ready to survive nuclear winter, the zombie apocalypse, cyborgs, aliens, Triffids and the inevitable Twilight remakes without breaking a sweat or spilling his beer.
If an actual street fighter played the game Streetfighter, do you think he’d bitch about the lack of accuracy?
I think he would bitch more about the Jean Claude Van Damme movie.
Longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?
I believe it was almost three days.
Longest you’ve ever slept?
I went to bed around midnight (which never happens) and woke up about 4pm (something else that never happens). I’m a chronic insomniac.
What do you think of Charlie from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia?
I can honestly say that I have never watched the show. I know, I’m behind.
Best book you’ve read recently?
I’m currently reading Gord Rollo’s Valley of the Scarecrow and loving every bit of it. Then again I have an obsession with scarecrows.
Worst book you’ve read recently? You don’t have to use a specific name if you’re not comfortable. (Please don’t say mine.)
I’ve actually been really lucky and don’t have an answer for that. I haven’t read a bad book in a really long time. Not since high school, anyway. I remember there were a few I pitched across the room but don’t recall their titles.
Favorite animal?
Sumatran Rat Monkey
Do you like Animal from the Muppets?
Animal has been a huge inspiration in my life. He taught me the joys of music and also the best pick up lines for women. To this day chasing them while screaming “WOMAN! WOMAN!” hasn’t worked but when it finally does, I will know for certain she’s a keeper.
What are you currently working on?
Right now I’m working on a story called “Misery Machine.” Its my first attempt at a ghost story but its not the spooky house with rattling chains type. It is a very dark, very violent revenge story that will have a surprise or two. Also my short zombie story, “Birthday Wish,” was picked up by Robber Ant Productions to be made into a film. I’m really excited about that. It will be filmed in and around Kansas City, Missouri. Its in pre-production right now. Its in the hands of a very talented screenwriter and director by the name of Robert Butt. Some of you may know him from his comic book “HUMAgeddon.”
What’s the most difficult time you’ve had writing a story so far?
Everything I write has something personal to me in there. Its something I have been through or know someone close to me who has gone through something that makes its way in. The hardest for me was my zombie novella “Some Other Time.” In that book I opened a lot of old wounds and visited some old ghosts. I have a fear of the day May 23rd. That may seem very strange to some people but I refuse to even leave the house on that day. The reason for this is because I’ve nearly died on that day more than once. That fear comes across in a few stories of mine but none have ever told it the way it happened. I was hit by a drunk driver on my way to work on May 23rd, 2003. Two years later on May 23rd, 2005, I was on my way to town with my grandmother when a speeding car lost control and hit us. I was the only survivor. When they found me, my head was under water but I had no water in my lungs. I wasn’t breathing. When I wrote that book, I wrote about my death. I’m one of those folks who gets to die more than once. I don’t know if you would call that lucky or not.
For me writing has always been good therapy. Its the cheapest in the world because you get paid to do it. Its a way to vent things in a safe, controlled environment. Since “Some Other Time,” things have been a lot easier as far as dealing with what happened. I encourage anyone who has been through a traumatic event to sit down and vent to the keyboard when they’re ready. It does help. I always hope that in some way, these “vent” stories will help someone else who has gone through something similar. It always helps to know that you’re not alone.
Favorite neon-colored breakfast cereal?
Crumb’s Crunchy Delights
You remember that song about North Carolina, from that rapper. He demanded you take your shirt off and spin it over your head like a helicopter.
I’m more of a metal head. Besides, me stripping, spinning my shirt and things like that are 1,000 times more horrific than any piece of fiction I could create. Just ask my ex-wife.
No… wait…. don’t.
Thanks for answering the questions. Keep on putting one word in front of the other, dude.
You too, good sir.
Seriously, I need to know about the mass. “L” is getting antsy and you know what that means. He’s already throwing kittens at fans.
(I’m not sure?)
Adam Barnick has been directing music videos lately. His video for the Rivulets, “How, Who”, is horror-based and got Video of the Week pick from FearNet, as well as Bloody-Disgusting. He’s also directed a couple of featurettes for Adam Green’s movies. For the dvds, and such. He came back. Time to get weird on him.
Where the Hell is What is Scary?
“What is Scary?” got put on hold for a while due to several factors. One of which involved a head injury I think that happened right around the interview I last did with you. That injury was a little more serious than I let on, and it really did a number on me. I’d stopped all work on that project and then, after recovering, got caught up in several other projects, three of which are these recent music videos. And some writing work. But I’d always intended to resume post and figuring out its final ‘shape’ and direction it would be going in, this year. So I will be actively involved in postproduction and getting the last elements of what I need, this Summer. I’m aiming for just a few more heavy hitters in the callers list, too. Can’t fathom a release date or festival, etc. yet. But I should have some updates later this year for you.
If dogs could talk, do you think we’d still like them as much? I don’t think we would.
I think loyal, sane dogs we wouldn’t mind so much. You know, if they were feeling sick they could tell us where it hurts, etc. I think neurotic dogs would lower the likeability factor though. Ever hear a dog freak out because its owner went to work? Now picture that in English, for six hours.
Favorite film from the 80s with a lady who has to pretend to be a dude?
Just One of the Guys. Now and Forever. <3
When you get a film career going, can you give me a job?
Ha, I’m kidding…no, but seriously, I could use it.
Ha, kidding again…no, I’m not.
Sure! Wait, no.
It has to be for money though. Nothing, “for the love.”
What if it’s a Passion Project? You need to see this video online called “Shit Craigslist Producers Say.” It’s amazing.
Do you have a pithy response to anyone who wants you to do a project, “for the love”?
I’m thinking mine will be, “get back to me when it’s for the money.”
I have no standard response, usually because I end conversations like that cordially but quickly. Not that I haven’t cut rates for things I’m passionate about or good people. But you can’t pay the electric bill with love. I’ve tried. They don’t play that. So that might be my response. “You can’t pay the electric bill with love.” Shit, that’s a Motown song in the making.
If a Freak Friday scenario occurred between you and Adam West…what would you even do? I’ve wondered what would happen if one occurred between me and Big Sean. I imagine he’d blow his…or rather my…brains out.
I’d be fine in his body. Although his rapping would get decidedly weirder, and more focused on extreme horror and talking animal films.
To reiterate, If a Freak Friday scenario occurred between you and Adam West, what would you do?
Adam West raps? I know I’d clean up every cent of my debt with convention appearances in just a week or two.
Is there still horror themed stuff for kids? I hope there is. I remember Are You Afraid of the Dark, and Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Those were pivotal in making me into the guy that says inappropriately morbid things at sunny barbecues.
I don’t know! I need to ask my good friend’s kids, who love horror. Though they (to a degree) groove on some of the stuff we grownups enjoy, like Walking Dead. Not sure. Kids grow up faster these days in terms of media literacy. Though things like Grimm’s Fairy Tales (real ones, not the sanitized ones) are a good primer for scary smart narratives. Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark remains brilliant, but I want to pimp-slap whoever reissued those books with “easier” drawings that aren’t scary. I opened one of those books when I was ten and nearly dropped it, the artwork scared me so much. The ‘nanny state’ culture needs to die in a fire before we’re all easily defeated wimps.
Allright, since you made it to weird-ass interview 2, got to pump up the weird (and or find a way to throw in pictures of celebrities to try and bump up my traffic). So, here we go.
Does life begin at conception? No, kidding (please don’t answer that, I don’t want a political blarg).
Life begins at 30. I’m pretty sure. Mine got better then! 30 is the new 20, right? I’m not sure. But in the film industry, 35 seems to be the new 14.
What if life began at Inception? So, if you had a wet dream, you’d wake up, and a kid would be there whose mom was some celebrity you find attractive.
Like SCARLETT JOHANSSON!
What scene was that in? I’m still trying to figure out if Leonardo’s top falls over when it’s done spinning.
If your butthole is sore, from say, rough toilet paper at work, do you think you could exaggerate the injury, and try to sue? I’m asking, uh, for a friend…
If you’re roughing it with the one-ply, your boss better hope there’s a good lawyer in the family- god’s mercy on you.
If a pie grew sentience and had to figure out how to make it in the real world, with just his best friend, a sassy black woman, could you call the pilot episode Solving for Pie? Also, who is a Monique type actress that isn’t Monique because she costs too much?
I’m completely confused so I’m gonna take a time out and walk around the block.
Is Adam Green really green, like the rumor I just started about him just now right here says?
I’m color blind, so he’s Grey to me; I’m not the best man to ask. But he remains an awesome guy; I just saw him at the Hatchet marathon last week in Boston and he, and the films, were a blast.
I updated my header.
Oh, right, question.
Ummmmmmm.
Do you like zucchini?
Does anyone? Not particularly, but I wouldn’t turn it down. if it’s that or starvation, I’ll make do.
If Girls Just Want to Have Fun why do so many of them have jobs? Maybe they’re fun jobs? I think Cyndi Lauper might have been making a gross overgeneralization.
What age do girls start working these days? If they’re 80′s girls, their slacker time has gone on long enough. OR, if you’re paying attention, doesn’t it mean they want to have fun because perhaps they’re not, due to conditions at their place of employment?
This is gonna circle back around to filmmaking soon, right?
Suuuuuure.
If Stephen King for some reason joined a monarchy and became an actual king, do you think he would pass a law to make everyone wear chambray at least one day a year?
Ha! No, he’s the King, I think he’d execute anyone else he found wearing it.
Have you ever read any Dean Koontz? I’m kind of a jerk, I never have. And yet I’ve read two novels from Richard Layman.
Two or three novels, which I liked, but he never really resonated with me like people like King and Clive Barker did.
I like my coffee like a like my women; ground up, and brewed in hot water, so I can get a buzz of off them.
My other favorite version of that joke is…I like my coffee like I like my women: slutty.
How do you like your coffee, and does it relate to how you like your women?
I like my coffee flavorful and strong, and from the Northwest/Canada. So, yes.
Can you go direct a movie so I can become your PA already?! Honestly, less than minimum wage…
I’m working on it! You’d better be ready to WORK though. Those call sheets aren’t gonna hand themselves out…
I mean, do you have any plans to go forward with What Is Scary? or any other film, in the near future?
See above. And yes there are more cool projects brewing, but I’m not going to make announcements until they’re true-blue happening or completed, vs. they might happen. Don’t want to jinx things or wildly hype something that’s not definite. But good, busy times are coming.
Shouldn’t rubberneckers just be called hey asshole, stop reading my shit, douchebags?
That may take too long to spout out pre-accident. But let me know how it works out for you!
Thanks for coming back. All five of my readers are sure to appreciate it.
My parents and the other 3 readers will be quite happy!
Confession. I prefer a lot of sequels to the originals. The Unforgiven II, Murmaider II: The Water God, Blade 2, Predator 2, Aliens. So, when I found out I could do another interview with The Twisted Twins, The Soska Sisters, The Terrible Twosome (I made that one up) I jumped, again, at the chance.
Only fitting to have a second interview with twins. However, I’ve never had any one make it to the second round. I’m going to have to get even weirder for this one. Or just make it longer. I’ll probably just make it a longer interview.
I did not prefer Bad Boys 2, but this shit just got real.
You two were the first ones to pop my interview cherry. Does the term “interview cherry” make you uncomfortable?
S: I rather like it. There have been a few interview cherries we’ve popped since popping yours and I’m beginning to feel like a Mrs. Robinson in that regards. Maybe it’s because I have a birthday coming back. Either way, thank you for having us back!
J: I take a real pleasure in your interview deflowering and my part in it. I hope I was gentle. I don’t think I called after. I’m such a dick.
All joking aside, it’s been roughly two years since we first, um, wrote words back and forth to each other. You have a new film out, and you’ve gone through a lot in those two years. So, I’m sure the question on everyone’s minds is…
Do you have a third deformed twin you keep chained up in your basement you feed fish heads, and only release to film inserts, and to edit, and do rewrites?
S: No one is supposed to know that. I mean, no comment.
J: Oh. I wasn’t joking. And everything you’ve heard about Bertha’s existence is a vicious rumor. She’s actually quite charming.
Why do people use the phrase walking on eggshells? Doesn’t this analogy imply that in a normal day, you would be able to walk on eggshells without cracking them? That’s impossible, unless you are a small creature.
S: It is silly, isn’t it? I remember reading that humans used to be much smaller, shorter, tinier people. Maybe when the term originated, humans could in fact walk on eggshells during socially awkward situations whilst feeling uncomfortable.
J: And why wouldn’t you just throw out the egg shells? Are they, like, from cooking? Put that shit in the trash. No one likes a mister messy.
Doesn’t this interpretation also imply that a person is like a weak, crackly membrane you can break?
Or, is it just to describe the sound? In that case, why not use the phrase walking on thin ice, or walking on broken glass, like that song?
S: I like just announcing, well this is awkward. I’m an awkward person so I usually feel like that in any social interaction, thank God I have Jen who can behave like a normal, functioning human being.
J: I like the phrase “walking on thin ice.” To picture it, it looks beautiful and often when you trek out on thin ice you’re gleefully unaware of your situation.
Favorite sandwiches?
S: BLT, but with jalapeños. I put spicy shit in everything.
J: Egg salad. I eat them so rarely they’ve become this great delicacy to me. I love Beef Dips! With garlic butter and a little horse radish. Delish.
Favorite Canadian thing?
S: Deadpool. He’s my babes.
J: To prevent a comic cat fight, though I bow to the magnificent magnificence of Deadpool, I’ll say Wolverine. We got the two best heroes.
Favorite version of The Thing?
S: John Carpenter’s THE THING. If some moron didn’t decide that CGI had to be put over ADI’s awesome prosthetics in the newest one, someone might have actually been able to enjoy it.
J: John Carpenter’s! By far! The new one without CGI over all the beautiful work that ADI did would have been stunning. You can see it here:
Do you like Thing from The Addams Family?
S: I like the Charles Addams’ cartoon version better. Originally he was a decapitated head that rolled through the mansion. Isn’t that fantastic?
J: Yes, we prefer head. Um… yeah, I’ll stand by that.
Do you still plan to try and make an Addams Family film someday, or have you given up on that?
S: Very much so, but you have to have a certain type of resume to pitch a project like that because it is such a money maker. It’s property of Paramount and that’s a studio that we have only begun meeting rad people in. We have a story for a Charles Addams original take film version. I think what he was going for with the cartoon strips is vastly interesting and the best way to go about with making a new film. I don’t even care if it’s me that does it, I just want to see the original take come to life.
J: We would love to. Of course, we don’t own the rights, but if we could work with Paramount one day to bring them to life in a way that embraces Charles Addams’ original work, we’d be delighted. It’s very possible. If a thousand people write to Paramount and ask them to get us to make an Addams Family film or if the online world starts a massive petition, it could happen sooner than you think. The power is always in the hands of the people.
Have you ever watched the show All That , which was on Nickelodeon in the 90s?
S: Nope. I was more of a DARKWING DUCK woman myself and those rad X-MEN 90s cartoons.
J: I missed it. If Sylvie didn’t watch it, I didn’t. BIG Darkwing fans, though. Anything superhero and we were all over it. I remember watching the line up with X-men on Saturday mornings. Much of that was more accurate and true to the comics than most of the films. It’s really too bad to see them stray so far from the characters that we love. The characters and stories from the comics are the whole reason they even have a fan following. Oops, geek rant out of nowhere. It happens.
Favorite thing from the 90s?
S: My lovebird, Bobo. But in the 90s world, it was the Smashing Pumpkins.
J: Buffy The Vampire Slayer. That show had a huge impact of me and played a big part in me becoming the woman that I am today. And explains why a spend so much time in graveyards with pointy things.
Favorite thing from the 80s?
S: Being born. That was awesome. That and the Tim Burton Batman movies. I saw BATMAN RETURNS in the theater and it was one of the coolest experiences of my life.
J: BATMAN RETURNS and WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT. Also, pretty much every piece of music to come out of the 80s.
Does Eli Roth always have crazy eyes?
S: Crazy intelligent. The man is brilliant, an encyclopaedia of everything cool in the genre.
J: Like in THE LIFE AQUATIC? When Steve Zissou had the crazy eye? I’ll say yes. The man’s crazy like a fox.
Do you know what part of Massachusetts he’s from? I’m sure I could Google it, I’m just lazy.
S: I could Google that, but I thought Boston. I know it’s the east coast. I think.
J: Newton! And I Googled that so no one be proud of me or anything.
Why is Katharine Isabelle so awesome? Is she awesome? She seems pretty awesome?
S: It’s like ridiculous how awesome she is. Like with the level of talent she has and good looks, you’d think there has to be something wrong with her. You know, to balance it out. But after making the film with her, traveling to promote the film, and everything in between, she’s down to earth, hilarious, and just awesome. It must be witchcraft.
J: Yeah, yeah. It’s PROBABLY witchcraft. She’s so cool you wouldn’t believe it. She’s accidentally hilarious as she claims she’s never intentionally funny. She’s fun to be around and just an all around amazing human being. She’s smart, she’s outgoing, she’s caring, and she’s not hard on the eyes. She’s awesome incarnate.
Do either of you practice with throwing…is ninja stars the correct term? Is that an offensive term? Iduhknow?
S: Jen’s the weapons expert. I just look like her. When you are a twin and your sister is so good at shit like that, everyone looks at you like so why don’t you know that shit?
J: Yeah! I smuggled them in from LA to Vancouver cuz you can’t get them here! And allow me to extend my most sincere thanks to the ever watchful US border patrol.
Has Freddy Mercury come back from the dead to visit either of you yet? I actually got a lot of traffic the last time I had the picture of Freddy Mercury on the site, so I’m probably going to insert a picture of him below your answer again.
S: I fucking wish. The world needs Freddy Mercury more than ever these days.
J: WHY has no one attempted to raise him from the dead?? I LOVE Freddy. He was one of a kind. There is no one living or dead that was everything he was. That voice, that presence, that sass. Freddy was the real deal. Oh, now I’m missing Freddy. If ghost or spirit Freddy is reading this or some necromancer with the ability to raise him is, come on over. We’ll have a few drinks and call over some cute boys.
Do you like David Bowie? (Obvious ploy to bump traffic by inserting David Bowie picture.)
I love David Bowie. I like his earlier stuff though. David Bowie, David Bowie, David Bowie. (There, that’ll get me some more traffic.)
S: Jen once put up a picture of a cyclops kitten and it got like an insane amount of traffic. You should put it up and see what happens. Buffy is big for traffic too. David Bowie is the man. I dig this stuff.
J: ha ha, put up a picture and tag for Buffy the Vampire Slayer for my 90s answer, too. That was the only other thing I’ve written that anyone really gave a shit about. I lie and say that it’s because it was a well written article, but I’m just living a lie.
Favorite website that isn’t this one, because this one sucks?
S: This one. Wait, this one isn’t an option? Dammit. I read WWTDD.com a lot. It makes me lol.
J: eFukt. It’s a lol and a half. The editing is clearly done by someone having fun with his job. Also, if the name doesn’t give it away, it’s NSFW.
What do you think of self-deprecation? Is it endearing, or self-defeating?
S: You never want to be too high on yourself, so it’s a good thing. I’m a self-laothing artist, so I have to believe it’s a good thing.
J: Defeating, ultimately. You have to cut yourself a break. It’s one thing if it’s done in jest or for the sake of humor. But you gotta love yourself, flaws and all. That’s true love. Anyone can love you for your good traits, but real love is when you love the flaws all the same.
I love you Sean. I love you too, Sean. Make sweet love to me Sean. Not now, I’m not in the mood, Sean. You’re never in the mood anymore Sean. Look can we not fight, Sean!
Um, moving along…
What do you think of narcissism? I have absolutely none. I just know that I’m a really sexy, funny, fiercely intelligent James Bond like person. And I am the best writer ever. Better than that prick Dickens.
S: My narcissism balances out my self-loathing so I can somewhat function.
J: It’s a fun word to say and usually chock full of charm. I like people who come out and say they’re narcissistic. At least they’re also honest and comfortable in who they are.
Do you have any advice for up and coming directors, or writers, or creative of any kind? I guess what I’m trying to ask is, how do I sell this novel about Gophers who make a plane and fly to Serbia? Look for Gophers Fly to Serbia out this summer from Bullshit Made up Press.
Look it up, it’s a real small press.
S: I would say make a film that you would pay to go see in the theatres, but not a film only you would want to pay to see. Right now, the technology is at a point where anyone can make a film and they do, but what defines people and projects from one another is the stories they tell and most importantly how they tell them. A lot of people want to work in film and decide, well I’ll just make a film. But why? Why does your film need to exist? What is it saying? I apply this to everything I read and a lot of scripts and films don’t have any reason worth existing. It’s just a found footage or zombie or everyone dies thing without a voice and without a soul. Find your story and your ‘why’ and work your ass off, dedicate everything you have into your film, don’t give up, and you will be successful. I’m looking forward to your gopher film adaptation. Animal attacks are big business.
J: Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t do it. We did it and there’s absolutely no reason why you can’t do it for yourself. Don’t wait around for someone to come along and make it happen for you. Don’t bitch that you can’t get funding. It’s tough for everyone and people are not likely to take a chance on an unknown and unproven filmmaker. You have to show them what you’re capable of. Go out there and make your own movie. Come up with something, some concept, that really excites you because you will be talking about it for the rest of your life and it will have to drive you. Write a list of your assets. It will amaze you how much you have available. People who will come out and help, people who will act for you, wardrobe you own, props, exotic animals, a business or a friend’s business, a local church, your school, just anything. Write it all out and try to put as much of that stuff that you have into your film to bring up your production value. Welcome advice. Someone telling you your film is the bees knees won’t help you improve it. You need to be able to take criticism, especially in the editing process. If something isn’t working or if people bring up the same thing over and over again, you’re not getting what you want across right. You have to change it up or cut it. Be critical with yourself. Be your own hardest critic. By the time you show your work to someone and its less than perfect, you’ve already made your first impression. And please choose a title that sticks out. there’s a lot of competition out there. You owe it to yourself to set yourself apart from the rest.
Are either of you Unforgiven II? (Hey, the numbers just went up again, what do you know?!)
S: Look at how smart you are.
J: I hope so! I want those outfits. I wonder what’s going on there.
Favorite comic series of the moment, other than something with Deadpool in it? Y’all be obsessed with some Deadpool.
S: Not Deadpool written by either Daniel Way or Brian Posehn? Dan Schaffer’s DOGWITCH is brilliant. Feminist punk rock attitude with a female lead that is multi-dimensional very much a real woman whilst being a hardcore witch with wild mood swings that doesn’t give a fuck. A big recommendation for any comic nerd to check out.
J: I’ll read anything with Daken in it, Wolverine’s hot as hell, badass bud guy, bi~sexual son. He’s such a complex and brilliant character. You think, “oh, Wolverine has an edgy son? That’s gotta be lame” but I’ve fallen in love with him in a way I didn’t think I could love any new characters. He was created by Daniel Way. He’s recently been killed and written just AWFULLY by Rick Remender in UnCanny X-Force. I’m pretty pissed about not only how he was written but by how see-through emotionally manipulative his death was. Total turd of turds. Not as bad as SUPERIOR SPIDER-MAN, but not far off. I guess I can’t expect a “second stringer” characters to be treated respectfully when ol’ Spidey gets killed because they ran out of ideas. It’s BRAND NEW DAY bad. And… oh, look. Another nerd rage rant. You’re lucky today 
Have you ever broken a heel on set? I have.
Wait, I mean…
S: I can’t remember, I feel like maybe and if so, it was duct taped and we went on with the day. Good for you for knowing we wear heels everyday to set and life.
J: Actually never! I have fallen hard on my ass more times than I’d like to admit running in heels, though, thank you very much. At least I have good cushioning…
Did you think of that comment above as a gay porn joke, or as a transvestite joke?
S: I’m shocked when I hear a man hasn’t dressed in drag or worn heels. I’ve worn pants before, it’s no big.
J: I think everyone looks better in heels. It’s a great work out, strengthens all those lovely leg muscles, and puts your bum where it should be. Just awesome.
Do you think Tom Hardy is dreamy? (Holy shit, my site just exploded!) Seriously though, man can act. Film Drunk called him “pillow lips,” in some article about the new Mad Max, and I’ve started to refer to him the same way. I know y’all love you some Fassbender.
S: Katie loves Tom Hardy, Jen loves Michael Fassbender. I think both are cool actors. I really don’t know if there is anyone I’d say is super dreamy. I have more of a thing for directors.
J: I love me some sweet sweet Fassbender. It love him for being the most talented actor living right now. I’m blown away by everything that he does. Whether he’s Magneto or an android or a sex addict, he is 100% there. After SHAME came out, everyone thinks I just love him for his endowments, but I maintain that there is a very talented man connected to that member.
What’s your favorite horror film you’ve seen recently?
S: THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF ROSALIND LEIGH. It’s coming out with MARY in a part of Raven Banner and Cineplex Entertainment’s Sinister Cinema Horror Series in Canada, so Canucks should definitely hit up the theatre to check it out. It’s very mature and atmospheric filmmaking, I just loved it.
J: Same! I was blown away by it!!
Favorite horror film of 2012?
S: DREDD. I watch that shit all the time as a treat for myself. Shitty day, watch DREDD. Awesome day, watch DREDD.
J: Are we allowed to say DREDD? I guess, fuck it, it’s our answer. It’s ours to abuse however we want. DREDD. And PITCH PERFECT!! And, oh yeah, AMERICAN MARY, ha ha
If you had the choice of coming back from the dead as a vampire, but you had to drink the blood of kittens, would you?
S: Sure, man. I have no soul. Sorry kittens.
J: Sadly, yes. I would totally value getting to hold a kitten so often.
How many cats do you have?
S: I have Buffy, a tortoise shell kitty that lives with my parents, and Logan, a maine coon, that lives with me. When we moved into our apartment, we didn’t have a yard for our outside kitties, so they stayed at our folks’, then Jen claims a home isn’t a home without a kitty, so we bought a brother and sister.
J: Four? Yeah, for. Elektra is my kitty here at home. She’s a Calico and they’re supposed to be good luck for artists. So everyone go out and by one now, ha ha
Was any of your family in American Mary? I thought I saw another Soska credited other than you two, but wasn’t sure…
S: Both of my parents were. My dad was Dr. Janusz and my mom was the female officer in the end of the film.
J: Yeah! What she said!
If a woman hater learned magic, would he be a misogamystic?
S: Yeah, but he’d be harmless. All of his spells would have to occur while his head is firmly up his own ass, so that would be a challenge for him.
J: Oh!! New word creation! That’s fan~fucking~tastic!!
What, or who, are you doing for Women in Horror Month?
S: We did our Massive Blood Drive PSA and shared some articles on inspirational women in the industry. It’s really cool to see how far the event has grown. It’s nice to be a part of that supportive community and it’s a great time to learn about female artists in the industry that you might have not known about before.
J: Always our PSAs and donating blood. I’m a wuss. I make sure I donate at LEAST once a year, though. And I try to make connections with new artists and learn about ones that I didn’t know about before.
I seem to have harped on a show I’ve never watched called Bananas in Pajamas more than is healthy for these Random-Ass Interviews. So, time for a new obscure show I’ve watched very little to ask weird questions about.
Why was the dragon so dumb on Eureka’s Castle?
S: I never saw that. But to answer the question, I would say overcrowding in public schools and not enough one on one attention for student dragons that are struggling with the material.
J: I never saw it. Maybe he was just misunderstood.
Worst movie you’ve seen lately?
S: SILENT HILL 2. There was not a single redeemable moment or quality in the film. Nothing. They should have taken the money that went into it and sent it to a third world country because they obviously had no ability to make a film with it.
J: Oh, YEAH!! Even bad would have said it was bad. Not a single, “hey, that’s alright” moment. Pure crap. Not even worth watching for the car accident that it is.
I saw it. I can confirm this.
Favorite Hungarian phrase?
S: Hungarian has the most vast collection of cuss words that goes everywhere from bestiality to sodomy to incest to scat to what have you. A hungarian can cuss for minutes and never repeat the same obscenity. I think we safe guard that by having one of the most difficult languages to speak. I can’t spell worth shit in Hungarian, but the one that is translated ‘horse dick up your ass’ is a favourite insult.
J: Korva. It can be used at any time for any reason.
Can you say anything about your next film, or is it in the hush stages right now?
S: There are a few that we are focusing our efforts on, but BOB is the one that we are hoping to be filming this year. The tagline is: ‘There’s a monster inside all of us, sometimes it gets out.’ It’s a an original monster movie that will have some pretty fucking rad practical effects from Masters FX.
J: What she said. And also it’s going to be the greatest and best movie ever made ever. That is all.
In American Mary, did he ask “titties and shrimp?” or “shrimp and titties?” I can’t remember.
S: Titties and shrimp. Mary’s chic apartment was right by a strip club where the cast and crew went for a titties and shrimp lunch while shooting, except I don’t think they had shrimp but claimed to have our city’s best burger.
J: Titties come before shrimp.
In American Mary, I’d like to think Billy made it to Vegas. This is not a question, shit.
S: Billy and Mary have both gone as far as they can in their situations in that bar scene. Billy would have definitely made it to LA. At least eventually.
J: Billy for sure left Seattle. He had to get out and away, start something new. He never intends to come back and doesn’t want to know what happens to Mary if she stays behind. He knows it’s nothing good.
Worst email you’ve ever received, if you’re up for the telling. If not, funniest email you can remember you’ve received, and or text?
S: Death threats are unpleasant. I think the more you grow your audience, especially if you are so out there like Jen and me, that there are some crazies that want to bring you down. Theses are people that don’t really know you, but something they’ve seen or read or maybe something they’ve made up in their heads have given them their own justification to hate you. I see what other people in the industry that are far more well known than Jen and I have to go through and it’s not something I like about the job.
J: Death threats, probably. Or the crazy “who even writes this” stuff. We’re in a business where people hate you for just doing your job and because they don’t like you or your films. It’s insane. Why would anyone hate a perfect stranger? After all, we’re perfect.
Thanks again for answering my weirdness. On a serious note, you inspired me to keep my ass actually writing, so thanks for that. It’s not always an easy gig. I mean, I’m running out of weird questions! That and the whole lack of pay and long hours thing. Either way, keep kicking ass. Take no prisoners.
S: This was one of the most entertaining and awesome interviews that I have had the pleasure of being a part of, don’t ever stop writing.
J: Dude, thank YOU!!!
For some reason the Sinatra song that’s life just popped into my head.
There’s a lot zooming around in the noggin’, and no linear thought patterns to keep them from assaulting my mouth region.
I’m moving to a condo soon. It’s an exciting if not exhausting process. Painting the place now, and will be moved in with the lady love by March 1st.
Been reading John Dies at the End. I started the book after I saw the film a month ago, and loved it. JDATE is great. Talk about like minds. David Wong seems to have the ADD too. I’ll probably go straight from JDATE to This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude Don’t Touch it.
I read an interview with Wong, and I credit it with getting me back into working on my first book. He talked about not sitting on a book, but getting feedback on the work. Specifically he said to release it on the internet, but an editor I’ve found said not to until its found a home. Been sending it out to friends for feedback though. Let’s face it, for the past few years I’ve also sent it to total strangers. I just think it’s funny.
I definitely have a deranged sense of humor.
Even in its early stages I feel like it’s still entertaining, and you get a good sense of the book.
So I found an editor, and am accumulating the funds right now to have it edited. This of course is so I can release it. I’ve been putting it off for so long. So, expect a release sometime in 2026.
I’ve developed an unhealthy addiction to the show Supernatural now that it’s on Netflix instant. I used to make fun of the show before I’d watched it. I’d hear them talk about watching it on Dinner For Fiends, and would think, “who would watch that lame ass show?” So color me a hypocrite, I was wrong. It’s amazingly entertaining. Think of a dumbed down X-Files starring ex-soap opera actors who look like male models.
I plan to start toying with more audio recording stuff in an attempt to record my very first Ruination with my own monotone, mumbly voice! Get pumped! Haven’t decided what to ruin yet.
I used Skype for the first time the other day. If anyone wants to Skype with me hit me up via personal messaging on Facebook.
Had a story called In Sickness and in Health published in a web magazine called Surreal Grotesque. They’d already published my story Casual Sex much to my amazement. Casual Sex is easily my most fucked up short story.
I’ve heard I might have Casual Sex put into a best of collection by the editor of Surr G. Oh Daniel William Gonzales, you’re too good to me. (April 10th, 2013: It was put in the best of Surreal Grotesque! Aliens, Sex & Sociopaths
Plan to do an article about three scary stories with boxes for Women in Horror Month! Kidding, not that kind of box…the regular kind.
Speaking of, look for my third In Honor of Women in Horror Month Screwed up Screenshots to be up soon. (March 4th, 2013: So I goofed, and forgot to post one. Look for one next year!) And wait for the drama to follow. I have two female sets of friends both pro and anti Women in Horror Month, so it should be entertaining once it goes live!
I’m off to listen to the new Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. Just watched the uncensored video for Jubilee Street. Ray Winstone stars in it. Check it out. Later sickos.
This is the best horror anthology film I’ve seen in a long while. It has this distinction, due to its vast number of vignettes, and its creators from various regions. It’s truly a multicultural affair. A melting pot of short horror films. There are even some animated shorts, and a Claymation ditty. The ABCs of Death has it all. And I loved the majority of it, A through Z.
Obviously, personal preference comes into play when pontificating upon the particular pieces of the film. By far, my least favorite short was the one which basically looked like furry masturbatory fodder. This of course was H is for Hydro-electric Diffusion written and directed by Thomas Malling. And I got that it was supposed to be a live action version of those cartoons with the sexy animal in them. It was weird then, and it’s still weird now!
Thankfully, there are many other awesome shorts. Other than H, most of the shorts were fun, if not amazingly entertaining. My favorites, (as every person who reviews this collection will end up just saying which letters were there favorite, let’s be honest) were A, D, F, G, J, K, L, O, Q, S, T, U, W, X, Y, and Z. I’m sorry, when in my life am I going to get to list letters like that and have it actually mean something? I’ll elaborate.
A, written and directed by Nacho Vigalondo. He was the director from Spain who brought us Timecrimes. Think the black knight from Monty Python and The Holy Grail, that’s a hint as to the theme. D is a stylish short, which is admittedly just a music video, but damn is it great. This one is written and directed by Marcel Sarmiento, who also co-directed Deadgirl. F is written and directed by Noboru Iguchi, who made The Machine Girl, and boy, is this short weird. G is written and directed by Andrew Traucki, and of all of them, this was perhaps my supreme favorite. It manages to be haunting and sad, all while being entirely in first person POV. He directed Black Water, and The Reef, two films which I’ve never seen as I didn’t hear the greatest info about them. Though, if this short is any indication, perhaps he’s got a good one in him. He certainly loves water.
J is for a long complicated Japanese word, and was written and directed by Yūdai Yamaguchi, who made a film called Meatball Machine. It’s silly. K is an animated venture about a lady and a poo, written and directed by Anders Morgenthaler, a guy from Denmark who has made nothing I’ve ever heard of. L is perhaps the most fucked up of the bunch. This one is written and directed by Timo Tjahjanto. He’s only done shorts before this, but this was a strong one, so check for this guy’s name in the future. He’s working on something for the sequel to VHS, S-VHS.
O is an experimental short written and directed by Bruno Forzani, and Héléne Cattet. Ah, le French. Q is one of two self-aware shorts, written and directed Adam Wingard, Simon Barrett, who also worked on A Horrible Way To Die. Hated that film, but loved this short, go figure. Its got a duck in it, and a gun. S is written and directed by Jake West, and Englishmen, who made Doghouse, which I had heard sucked ass. I liked the short though, so maybe on a brave day I’ll try it out. T is written and directed by Lee Hardcastle , and it’s Claymation. California Raisons, eat yo heart out.
U is written and directed Ben Wheatley, W is my second favorite, written and directed by Metalocalypse dude Joe Schnepp. W is also a self aware short. X is by Xavier Gens, the Frenchmen who brought us Frontiers and The Divide, both great films. Y is written and directed by Canada’s own Jason Eisner, creator of Hobo with a Shotgun! And, finally, Z is written and directed by special effects guy who worked on Suicide Club, The Machine Girl, and Tokyo Gore Police. It’s incredibly bizarre. Like, blonde haired Japanese lady with a giant cock with a sword out the tip fighting someone who sprays veggies out the vag odd. There was something anti-american in there, but fuck if I could figure it out over the balls out bizarreness. Bravo Yoshihiro Nishimura.
I guess the reason I’m listing all these directors and what they’ve worked on, is to prove to you how vast this film is. All over the globe the films have come, and they’ve all found a home in one collection. This is incredibly rare. Do yourself a favor and check out The ABCs of death, if you like anthology horror films, foreign horror films, or if you simply want to take a wild ass ride. But be forewarned, the credits have a song called Horror Movie by the Skyhooks which you will probably get stuck in your head. Seriously, this shit has been in my noggin’ for like four days.
This has been one Hell of a second season. No matter what you feel about a show switching not only primary locations, but characters and decades, no one can deny that it takes nerves of steel. Imagine if Friends had randomly decided to switch the show to Chicago, in the 30′s, after the third season. Or, if The Walking Dead decided to make the show about ghosts, move everyone into Iceland, and have all new characters. Granted, they’d have to change the name of the show to The Floating Dead, or The Walking Dead: Spectral. My point is, it was a bold move, and so of course there will be naysayers.
A lot of fans don’t want to admit this, but we like our rigid confines. I certainly do. When Mulder was written off of The X-Files for those later seasons, I just stopped watching. So, I was naturally apprehensive about American Horror Story: Asylum. I enjoyed the idea of actors from the first season coming back, but I was very worried. I loved the first season of that show. What if the second season sucked?
And so, I started watching American Horror Story: Asylum. And, admittedly, when it first began, I liked it, but thought it was a bit disjointed. What, so we’re in the present, seeing on old asylum called Briarcliff, and then we cut to the 60′s, and a guy married to a black woman, and then aliens, he’s accused of murder, a journalist comes. And I still say Bloody Face is the worst name for a serial killer ever.
But, with the weeks, the show grew on me. I grew to love the characters, and even began to enjoy how many different plot elements with various horror tropes were thrown into the mix. I still had no idea how they were going to tie everything up, but I was along for the ride, no matter what.
Soon, things began to resolve themselves. The aliens, and the weird mutated creatures in the forest. The possessed nun, who switches from innocent to literally devilish, played by Lily Rabe was fun to watch. And the ex-nazi Dr. Arden, played by James Cromwell, was also intriguing. Most importantly, the identity of Bloody Face, and who was killing the Bloody Face imitators in the present day, at the run down Briaricliff, was the draw of the show. Zachary Quinto did an amazing job.
The season finale is, without question, my favorite episode of the entire season. Not only does it scare, but it manages a tough feat for things in the horror genre. It makes you feel a gambit of emotions. You smile, and you get sad when you see the last years of Sister Jude’s life. Or, as she is now in those final years, when she lives with Kit, Betty Drake. You see the joy this woman, brilliantly played by Jessica Lange, is capable of. Really, the character arc of Sister Jude, or Judy Martin, is the most astounding of any actor in the series. From antagonist, all the way round to protagonist. From heartless bitch, to sympathetic victim. Jude’s death was both moving, and haunting, as the angel with the black wings, (also performed brilliantly by Frances Conroy) finally comes after years of talking with Judy, to take her away.
Dylan Mcdermott as Bloody Face’s abandoned son, Johnny, given up for adoption by Lana (Sarah Paulson) gives a powerful performance in this final episode. By the end, he makes you feel bad for a serial killer who wears the skin of women on his face, and that’s a tough sell. Of course, Lana, played by Paulson also brings the thunder. We hear of her transition from novelist writing about Bloody Face, to investigative journalist, who finally goes back and exposes Briarcliff. In the end of the episode, she faces her abandoned son, and I won’t tell you what she does, but it is both haunting, and in a way, a mercy. Lana knows all too well what institutionalization can do to a person.
Really, there are many actors whose character arcs are dynamic. Everyone is constantly changing, and evolving for the better, or the worse. It is what made the first season so great, and what went on to make the second season great.
In the end, this season, and indeed American Horror Story as a show has exceeded my expectations time and time again. I look forward to seeing what they’re going to pull out of their bag of tricks for season 3.